silver lining?????

I had high hopes for 2014. (see post from 1-1-14) Then last week, I came down with the flu. And not just any old garden variety flu, but the kind that involves all of the add-on complications, like chills and fever, aches and pains, bronchitis, sinusitis, ear infections, and intestinal issues. Pile on the medical and pharmacy expenses, and you could say, conservatively, I've had a bad week.

The good news? I didn't die...and I'm slowly improving.

They say every shitty thing that happens has a silver lining...or is that a cloud? And, who are they? I don't know, and don't ask me too many questions because I've been quarantined for so long I can barely communicate.

Anyway, I'm trying to unearth a positive seed here. How could this possibly have made me a better person? What lesson/lessons have I gleaned from my experience?

Hmmm.....I'm coming up empty handed.

But wait! How about this: My declaration on 1-1-14 was,  "I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I think 2014 is going to be fabulous." So was this the Universe's way of saying, "whoooaaah, not so fast, Sister...let's not get crazy!" No, I don't think so. God may scratch His head occasionally at my antics, but I this was particularly harsh.

Is the lesson here to be aware of the fleeting nature of life? I mean, one day I felt great, and the next day I felt like I was going to die; and even more disturbing, I was so sick that I didn't care. I don't think that's it either though, because I figured out the fleeting nature of life thing long ago. One day I looked in the mirror and I was a foxy nineteen year old, and the next day I was staring back at my grandmother. I didn't need this to drive that point home...

So what then?

Maybe I should I take better care of myself? I eat right, exercise, deal with stress, get adequate rest, get regular checkups, etc...what more can I do? Get a flu shot? That might have helped, but the last time I got a flu shot, I got the flu a couple of months later, so maybe, maybe not...

Did this enforced break from the everyday rat race inspire me to appreciate the nuances of life? To stop and smell the roses? Please! It did, however, make me appreciate running water, antibiotics and cable tv.

So, I've decided that the silver lining theory is bull-shit; pardon my French. There is no positive seed, no lesson to be learned from this. Other than, just when you think life is going to be a joyride in a pink Cadillac...well...shit happens...and you just have to deal with it and move on.....

xoxo C